Wait, This Exists?!

A 14-inch dark lord dildo with suction cup. Fan boy meets fist boy. The Dark Side has never been this literal.

A cockatrice-inspired toy. Half rooster, half serpent, fully committed to making your Monster Manual collection feel inadequate.

A D&D 20-sided die turned into a ball gag. Roll for initiative in the dungeon — both kinds.

An alien-themed Fleshlight with a xenomorph-style entrance. Three signature textures combined. In space, everyone can hear you.

Six platinum silicone alien eggs for ovipositor play. Half a dozen reasons to question your browsing history.

An H.R. Giger-inspired alien dildo with biomechanical musculature. Art history class just got interesting.

A self-lubricating alien dildo in red and silver. It erupts. On demand. The volcano metaphor writes itself.

230 strokes per minute. Syncs to VR content, cam shows, and your partner's device worldwide. The metaverse just got real.

A crystal pleasure tool available in rose quartz, obsidian, clear quartz, AND sodalite. Named after the Talu chakra point. This is a geology degree you actually want.

Eggplant, banana, chili pepper, and pickle vibrators in one box. The world's most suspicious fruit basket. Perfect housewarming gift.

A luxury bath bomb that dissolves to reveal a waterproof bullet vibrator inside. It's a Kinder Surprise for adults, except the surprise actually does something useful.

A 7-inch hand-blown glass dildo shaped like a banana. For scale and for pleasure. Finally answers the question 'is that a banana or are you just happy to see me?' Both. It is both.

A ride-on sex machine that vibrates AND thrusts. Bluetooth app control. Multiple attachments. This is the mechanical bull your local bar wishes it could be.

A premium neoprene hood designed for breath play with controlled airflow. Handmade in San Francisco by artisans who have SEEN things.

An alien egg-laying dildo with 4 textured eggs. Load, lube, and launch. The alien reproduction manual you never knew you needed.