Icon Brands
Darth Invader 14" Dildo
A 14-inch dark lord dildo with suction cup. Fan boy meets fist boy. The Dark Side has never been this literal.
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Most Liked Products
The most popular and highest-rated intimate products on This Is Why U CUM, ranked by community likes.
227 products
Bad Dragon
Crackers the Cockatrice
A cockatrice-inspired toy. Half rooster, half serpent, fully committed to making your Monster Manual collection feel inadequate.
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Geeky Sex Toys
D20 Gag
A D&D 20-sided die turned into a ball gag. Roll for initiative in the dungeon — both kinds.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Alien Queen
An alien-themed Fleshlight with a xenomorph-style entrance. Three signature textures combined. In space, everyone can hear you.
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Sinnovator
Sinnovator Alien Eggs Set of 6
Six platinum silicone alien eggs for ovipositor play. Half a dozen reasons to question your browsing history.
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Uberrime
Uberrime The Aliter Bent Knot Alien Dildo
An H.R. Giger-inspired alien dildo with biomechanical musculature. Art history class just got interesting.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Eruptor Self-Lubricating Dildo
A self-lubricating alien dildo in red and silver. It erupts. On demand. The volcano metaphor writes itself.
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Kiiroo
Kiiroo KEON VR
230 strokes per minute. Syncs to VR content, cam shows, and your partner's device worldwide. The metaverse just got real.
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Chakrubs
Chakrubs Talu Crystal Pleasure Tool
A crystal pleasure tool available in rose quartz, obsidian, clear quartz, AND sodalite. Named after the Talu chakra point. This is a geology degree you actually want.
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Emojibator
Emojibator Fruit Basket Set
Eggplant, banana, chili pepper, and pickle vibrators in one box. The world's most suspicious fruit basket. Perfect housewarming gift.
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Fizzin Bath Bombs
Fizzin Bath Bombs Adults Only: Bullet Bomb
A luxury bath bomb that dissolves to reveal a waterproof bullet vibrator inside. It's a Kinder Surprise for adults, except the surprise actually does something useful.
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Glas
Glas Banana Joy 7-Inch Glass Dildo
A 7-inch hand-blown glass dildo shaped like a banana. For scale and for pleasure. Finally answers the question 'is that a banana or are you just happy to see me?' Both. It is both.
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Motorbunny
Motorbunny BUCK Thrusting Sex Machine
A ride-on sex machine that vibrates AND thrusts. Bluetooth app control. Multiple attachments. This is the mechanical bull your local bar wishes it could be.
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Mr S Leather
Mr S Leather Neoprene Breath Control Hood
A premium neoprene hood designed for breath play with controlled airflow. Handmade in San Francisco by artisans who have SEEN things.
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Odyssey Toys
Odyssey Toys Xan Ovipositor with Eggs
An alien egg-laying dildo with 4 textured eggs. Load, lube, and launch. The alien reproduction manual you never knew you needed.
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Uncover Creations
Uncover Creations Alien Ovipositor
A curved alien ovipositor with ribbed details and egg-laying capability. The original Alien Ovipositor. Accept no substitutes.
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Autoblow
VacuGlide 2
14 POUNDS of aluminum luxury. 225 strokes/min. Has an AI Companion chat that controls the device. The Rolls-Royce of suction. Made of actual metal.
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Body Candy
Body Candy Glow-in-the-Dark Nipple Ring Set
316L surgical steel nipple rings that glow in the dark. Because apparently regular nipple jewelry wasn't enough — yours need to be a beacon.
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CB-X
CB-6000S Chastity Cage
The industry standard in male chastity. Polycarbonate cage with numbered locks. Comes with 5 different ring sizes because fit matters, even in captivity.
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Self Delve
Self Delve Corn On The Cob Dildo
A hyper-realistic silicone corn cob dildo. Every kernel individually sculpted. The farmers market will never be the same.
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BMS Enterprises
PowerBullet Cosmic Ring Glow-in-the-Dark
A glow-in-the-dark vibrating cock ring with 9 functions, USB rechargeable, and a removable bullet. Your junk, now with ambient lighting.
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Cute Little Fuckers
Zeep! by Cute Little Fuckers
A gender-inclusive alien creature vibrator. It's a non-binary pleasure alien. It has a backstory. It has pronouns. Welcome to the future.
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LELO
LELO EARL 24K Gold
A 24-karat gold anal plug. $2,490. Made-to-order, 30-day production. For the person who has literally everything except this.
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Lovense
Lovense Sex Machine
300 strokes per minute. App-controlled from anywhere on earth. Double-sided for two. Your partner in Tokyo controls your evening in Montreal.
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Mystim
Mystim Cluster Buster
Wireless e-stim power box that controls up to 8 receivers simultaneously. You can literally zap 8 body parts at once. Party planning has never been this electrifying.
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Neon Cowboys
Neon Cowboys LED Pasties (Shapes Only)
Battery-powered LED shapes — cherries, stars, hearts, lightning bolts — that stick onto pasties. Water-resistant. For when you want your chest to be the main event at the rave.
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njoy
njoy Eleven
THREE POUNDS of polished stainless steel. Eleven inches long. Costs $400. This is the Excalibur of dildos. Whoever wields it is worthy.
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Sincerely Fearless
Good Vibrations Vibrator Earrings
Earrings that are actually tiny working vibrators. Available in 5 colors. The most discreet accessory you'll ever own that doubles as a conversation killer at dinner parties.
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Syncbot
Syncbot AI Masturbator
An AI-powered masturbator that syncs to video in real-time using 'PornGPT' AI. Thrusts, rotates, and suctions. Silicon Valley's most awkward startup pitch.
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Vex Toys
Vex Toys Sweet Treat Ice Cream Cone Dildo
A platinum silicone ice cream cone dildo. 8 inches tall. Handmade. Each one unique. Your soft-serve obsession has entered dangerous territory.
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Bad Dragon
Diego the Direwolf
A direwolf fantasy toy with cumtube option. Winter is coming, and honestly, so are you.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Amethysta Tentacle Dildo
An 11.6-inch purple tentacle with shimmering gold accents and suction cup base. The Kraken has been released. Into your bedroom.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Bigfoot
A Bigfoot-themed Fleshlight. The yeti of male pleasure. Blurry photos of this toy have been spotted in men's nightstands across America.
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Sinnovator
Dagon Depth Training Tentacle Dildo
A tentacle dildo from 12 to 22.5 inches. Named after a Lovecraftian god. Depth training has never been this cosmic.
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Uberrime
Uberrime The Big Damn Alien! Dildo
The large version of The Damn Alien. Bigger alien. Bigger exclamation point. Bigger everything.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Fire Dragon Thrusting Dildo
A remote-controlled THRUSTING dragon dildo in red and black. It thrusts. By itself. The dragon does the work.
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Kiiroo
Kiiroo Spot & Keon Couples Bundle
She gets the Spot egg vibrator, he gets the Keon automatic stroker, both sync together in real-time. It's like multiplayer gaming but everyone finishes.
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Chakrubs
Chakrubs Xaga Curve Crystal Dildo
A hand-polished crystal curved dildo available in rose quartz, obsidian, and clear quartz. Comes with a velvet pouch and a guided meditation practice. Your yoni has never been so spiritually aligned.
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Emojibator
Emojibator Pickle Vibrator
A pickle-shaped vibrator. Waterproof. 10 vibration modes. Looks exactly like something you'd leave in the fridge to confuse your roommate.
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Fizzin Bath Bombs
Fizzin Dick Soap
A penis-shaped soap available in Aphrodisiac Purple, Hugo Boss Black, and Fantasy Pink. For when you want to wash your hands and question your life choices simultaneously.
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Glas
Glas Cornstar 8-Inch Glass Dildo
An 8-inch glass dildo shaped like a corn cob. Hand-blown borosilicate glass. Dishwasher safe. Finally, a corn on the cob you do not bring to a barbecue.
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Motorbunny
Motorbunny Original Ride-On Sex Machine
A ride-on vibrating sex machine with Bluetooth app control and interchangeable attachments. 6500 RPM of vibration. It is essentially a roomba for your pleasure centers.
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Mr S Leather
Mr S Leather Neoprene Sensory Hood
Premium neoprene hood with removable eye and mouth panels. Like a wetsuit for your face, but the only diving you'll be doing is into the deep end of your kink list.
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Odyssey Toys
Odyssey Toys The Xenomorph Dildo
An H.R. Giger-inspired knot-style dildo for those who crave stretch. Available in 3 sizes. The bigger the xenomorph, the bigger the stretch.
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Uncover Creations
Uncover Creations Xenomorph Ovipositor
A xenomorph-inspired ovipositor with 3 eggs included. The full alien reproductive experience. Eggs sold separately. Just kidding, they're included.
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Bad Dragon
Duke the Bad Dragon
The flagship dragon. Duke is THE Bad Dragon. The OG. The one your friend told you about in a hushed whisper.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Dark Side 6-Piece Bondage Kit
A 6-piece BDSM kit including a lightsaber flogger and Death Star ball gag. The Dark Side has cookies AND restraints.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Fantasy Predator
A purple predator-themed stroker with ribbed texture. The hunter becomes the hunted. Sexually.
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Sinnovator
Scarabaeus Ovipositor Dildo
An alien insect ovipositor in metallic blue with claspers and 3 textured eggs. Extraterrestrial insemination, handcrafted.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Damn Alien G-Spot UV Reactive
A UV-reactive alien dildo that glows under blacklight. Your G-spot just became a rave venue.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Glo-Vopositor with Eggs
A glow-in-the-dark ovipositor that comes with eggs. It lays eggs. And it glows. The alien lifecycle has never been so fun.
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Kiiroo
Kiiroo Titan & Onyx+ Couple Set
Two interactive strokers that sync together over the internet. One vibrates with 9 motors, the other does realistic up-down stroking. For couples who both have penises and also broadband.
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Bad Dragon
Fenrir the Wolf Dragon
A wolf-dragon hybrid with a textured shaft and pronounced knot. For when regular werewolf fantasies aren't specific enough.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Halloween Pumpkin Ball Gag
A pumpkin-shaped ball gag for spooky season enthusiasts. Trick or treat just got significantly more complicated.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Xeno HGR Stroker
A xenomorph-inspired stroker with an intense internal texture. H.R. Giger would be proud. Or horrified. Probably both.
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Sinnovator
Sinnovator Spore Ovipositor Dildo
An alien appendage with claws and ventral scales that deposits eggs 9 inches deep. Nature is beautiful. Alien nature is beautiful-er.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Xenusoid Alien Tentacle Dildo
A handmade alien tentacle dildo in platinum silicone. The tentacle you've been waiting for, crafted by artisans.
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Bad Dragon
Flint the Uncut Studded Dragon
Short, girthy, and covered in studs. Flint is the dragon who skipped leg day but never skipped texture day.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Master Vibe Sword Dildo
An 11.6-inch vibrating sword dildo with 10 patterns and illuminated power button. The high ground has never been more relevant.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Zombie
A zombie-themed Fleshlight in undead green. Because the zombie apocalypse gets lonely. Braaaaains optional.
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Sinnovator
Sinnovator Xeno Alien Dildo
An exoskeleton-detailed alien dildo with undulating shaft. Available as an ejaculating model. The alien has options.
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Bad Dragon
Ika the Squid
Squid tentacle fantasy toy. Hentai fans, your prayers have been answered. Available in every color of the rainbow.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Moon Wand Vibrator
A magical girl wand vibrator that would make Sailor Moon proud. In the name of the moon, it will punish you. Gently.
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Bad Dragon
Nocturne the Dragon
Dragon-inspired with dramatic ridging and scale textures. Like Smaug meets your nightstand. Khaleesi approved.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Piky Plug
A Pikachu-inspired butt plug. You chose it. It's super effective. We are not responsible for what you yell when you use it.
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Bad Dragon
Nova the Breeder
An alien breeder fantasy toy. The xenomorph's more fun cousin. In space, no one can hear you... never mind.
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Geeky Sex Toys
The Incredible Dong
12 inches of gamma-powered glow-in-the-dark fury. Hulk smash just got a whole new meaning.
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Bad Dragon
Bad Dragon Ovipositor
A toy that deposits gelatin eggs inside you. Alien egg-laying fantasy. This is peak internet. We've reached the summit.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Space Station Ball Gag
A Death Star-shaped silicone ball gag. Join the Dark Side — they have better accessories.
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Bad Dragon
Rex the German Shepherd
A German Shepherd-inspired fantasy toy. Man's best friend just got significantly more complicated.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Vibe Saber LED Vibrator
A 12-inch lightsaber vibrator that glows in 6 LED colors with 10 vibration modes. May the force be in you.
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Bad Dragon
Stan the T-Rex
A T-Rex-themed silicone toy. Short arms, big personality. 65 million years of evolution led to this moment.
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Bad Dragon
Tentacle Fantasy Dildo
For when regular anatomy just doesn't cut it anymore. Silicone tentacle. The anime fans know what's up.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Alien Tentacle Dildo
A deep navy blue tentacle dildo with spiral ridges and a suction cup base. First contact has never been this hands-free.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Copperhead Vibrating Grinder
A rechargeable vibrating grinder with remote control in copper and purple. Grind on an alien. With a remote. The future.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Alien King Dildo
A 9-inch silicone alien dildo from the Fleshlight universe. The king has arrived, and he brought texture.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Bivius Demon Knot Dildo
A demon knot alien dildo at sixty-nine dollars. The price. The knot. The alien design. Everything aligns.
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LELO
LELO ENIGMA Wave
Three motors, WaveMotion AND SenSonic tech in one device. The Swiss Army knife of pleasure, except Swedish.
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Uncover Creations
Uncover Creations The Alien II Dildo
A slim alien dildo with heavy ribbed textures. The sequel: slimmer, ribbier, and still very alien.
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Chakrubs
Chakrubs Amethyst Original
A pleasure wand carved from pure amethyst crystal. Promotes calm, clarity, and apparently orgasms. Hand-polished. Each one unique. Your crystal healing practitioner forgot to mention this application.
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Hot Octopuss
PULSE Solo Lux
Premium edging masturbator with wrist-strap remote. PulsePlate tech works even when you're not hard. The luxury model for when your penis deserves a corner office.
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Lovense
Lovense Edge 2
Adjustable dual-motor prostate massager with app control. More settings than your car seat.
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Mystim
Mystim Electric Eric
E-stim vibrator that does double duty: vibrations AND electric pulses at the same time. Because apparently regular orgasms were too boring for you.
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Crave
Crave ID Cuffs
Stainless steel cuff bracelets that are actually bondage restraints. Magnetic clasp connects them. Wear to brunch, use at night. Fashion-forward kink.
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Glas
Glas 7.75" Glow Rod Glass Dildo
A handcrafted borosilicate glass dildo that glows in the dark. Temperature-responsive. Turn off the lights and play lightsaber. 3-year warranty.
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Kiiroo
Kiiroo KEON
Automatic stroker that syncs to VR content. 230 strokes per minute. That's faster than you can say 'I need an adult.'
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MysteryVibe
MysteryVibe Crescendo 2
Six independent motors in a bendable body. Shape it to fit any anatomy. App-controlled with 16 vibration patterns. It's like a Swiss Army knife that only does one thing, extremely well.
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Autoblow
Autoblow AI Ultra
AI-powered. Machine-learning algorithms trained on real data. Your engineering degree has led to this moment.
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Creature Cocks
Ravager Rippled Tentacle Silicone Dildo
A muscular rippled tentacle dildo with suction cup. The tentacle fantasy, now with reptile textures.
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Dame
Dame Eva II
Hands-free vibe that sits on your body during sex like a tiny vibrating passenger. More reliable than most dates.
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Emojibator
Emojibator Eggplant Vibrator
The eggplant emoji, but it vibrates. 10 settings. Medical-grade silicone. Finally, a reason to use that emoji unironically.
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Adam & Eve
Glass Candy Land Juicer
A glass dildo that looks like a candy swirl lollipop. Temperature play ready. It's giving Willy Wonka's forbidden back room.
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Hodge Podge Entourage
Captcha the Biomech Alien Robot Dildo
A biomechanical alien robot dildo. Part machine, part organic, entirely committed to the sci-fi aesthetic.
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Little Genie
Let's Get Naked Card Game
A stripping card game where the loser of each round performs the action on their card. It's War meets strip poker, but with less strategy and more skin.
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Neon Cowboys
Neon Cowboys Light Up LED Cowboy Hat
9 feet of LED light sewn into a cowboy hat. 8+ hours of glow, water-resistant, 8 colors available. Worn by Post Malone and Miranda Lambert. Yeehaw just got an upgrade.
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Odyssey Toys
Xan Knotted Alien Fantasy Dildo
A knotted alien dildo with a ribbed shaft. Rated 4.94 stars by people who know exactly what they want.
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Perifit
Perifit Care Kegel Exerciser with App
An FDA-cleared kegel trainer that connects to an app with 14 video games. Your pelvic floor controls a bird, a car, or a spaceship. Gaming has reached places it was never meant to go.
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Honey Play Box
Piggie Puff Air Pulse Vibrator
A pig-shaped air pulse clitoral vibrator. Oink oink. It's cute, it's pink, and it uses pressure waves. This little piggy went to... nevermind.
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Shinesty
Shinesty Naughty X-Rated Women's Underwear
Underwear with messages and designs so explicit they'd make your grandmother need smelling salts. Dangerously comfortable, aggressively inappropriate.
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Sinnovator
Sinnovator Andromeda Alien Dildo
Named after a galaxy 2.5 million light-years away. The dildo is closer. And more textured.
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Tantus
Tantus Wham Bam Paddle
Heart-shaped silicone paddle that leaves heart imprints. Slap someone with love. Literally. The most romantic violence you'll ever commit.
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Unihorn
Unihorn Heart Throb
A unicorn-shaped clitoral vibrator with a pulsing tongue. 10 speeds, 10 patterns. Magical, mythical, and absolutely unhinged.
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We-Vibe
We-Vibe Temp Temperature-Responsive Vibrator
An aluminum alloy vibrator that changes temperature. Heat it up in warm water, cool it down in cold. Your vagina now has climate control like a luxury sedan.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Drodong - Silicone Dragon Dildo
A sparkle-infused silicone dragon dildo that looks like it was forged in the nebula of a dying star. Textured. Mythological. Very sparkly.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Double Demon Dual End Dildo
A dual-ended alien dildo in blue and green. Two ends. Two demons. One very specific evening ahead.
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Fleshlight
Fleshari Blue Alien Stroker
A blue alien-themed stroker with ribbed internal texture. Like dating someone from Pandora but without the cultural complications.
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Uberrime
Uberrime The Damn Alien! Dildo
A G-spot targeting alien dildo with a bulbous head and bump pairs. The exclamation point in the name is earned.
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LELO
LELO F1S V3
AI-powered sonic stroker with Cruise Control. Named like a Formula 1 car. Pit stop not included.
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Uncover Creations
Uncover Creations The Alien III Dildo
A tapered alien dildo with bumps and a G-spot curve. The trilogy concludes. Perfectly.
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Chakrubs
Chakrubs The Heart Original — Rose Quartz
A dildo carved from pure rose quartz crystal. For manifesting, healing, meditation, and... other things. Comes with a velvet pouch. Your yoga teacher would be so proud.
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Hot Octopuss
JETT Turbo
Dual-motor with separate treble and bass vibration controls. EQ your orgasm like a DJ mixing board. 100% hands-free.
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Lovense
Lovense Gravity Thrusting Dildo
An app-controlled thrusting dildo with suction base. Your partner can control it from across the world. Long-distance relationships just became an engineering challenge.
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Mystim
Mystim Sizzling Simon
Simon says... get electrocuted. This e-stim vibrator combines 8 vibration modes with 5 electrostim programs. Simon is NOT playing games.
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Crave
Crave Tease Necklace
A vibrator pendant that doubles as fine jewelry. Available in rose gold, silver, and 24k gold. Four speeds. Your grandmother will ask where you got that lovely necklace.
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Glas
Glas 8" Sweet Heat Glow Glass Dildo
An 8-inch glow-in-the-dark glass dildo shaped like a chili pepper. Borosilicate glass. Temperature play compatible. Art gallery meets adult store.
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Kiiroo
Kiiroo Spot & Pearl3 Couple Set
She gets a G-spot vibe with three signature bumps. He gets a wearable egg vibrator. Both sync via app for long-distance intimacy. Your WiFi bill just became foreplay.
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MysteryVibe
MysteryVibe Tenuto 2
Wearable vibrator for penises with six motors that wraps around like a saddle. Stimulates him AND her during sex. App-controlled. Designed with urologists. Your doctor's office just got weird.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Moonlight Kawaii Bondage Kit
An anime-inspired kawaii bondage kit in pastel colors. Cute enough for your shelf, kinky enough for your nightstand.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Glow Dragon Creature Dildo
A glow-in-the-dark dragon creature dildo in blue, purple, orange, and red. It is a dragon. That glows. In the dark.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Lexi Amakura Anime Girl
An anime-inspired fantasy stroker from Fleshlight's sci-fi collection. When 2D meets 3D. In the most literal way possible.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Duobus Double-Headed Fantasy Dildo
A double-headed alien fantasy dildo. Two heads are better than one. Especially when they're from space.
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LELO
LELO ORA 3
Oral sex simulator with a rotating tongue node 25% faster than V2. Won design awards. Very specific thing to put on your mantel.
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Uncover Creations
Uncover Creations The Alien Dildo
A thick, top-heavy alien dildo with a bulbous shaft. Available in 5 sizes and 25 colors. Customize your alien encounter.
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Chakrubs
Chakrubs Viper — Black Obsidian
A sleek pleasure wand carved from volcanic black obsidian. Absorbs negative energy. Allegedly. What we know for sure: it's a beautiful stone phallus and it means business.
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Hot Octopuss
PULSE Solo Dragon Eye
Iridescent dragon-eye themed male vibrator. Works on flaccid penises. Accessibility meets fantasy. The dragon sees all.
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Lovense
Lovense Gush 2
Oscillating penis massager controlled from your phone. Hands-free. More connected than your smart home.
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Mystim
Mystim Tension Lover 2
A German-engineered e-stim power box that lets you control electric tingles from 'barely there' to 'WHAT THE HELL.' Your safe word is 'voltage.'
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Geeky Sex Toys
Mermaid - Dildo of the Deep
A 7-inch shimmering mermaid-inspired dildo. If mermaids lived in space, their technology would look exactly like this. Iridescent. Otherworldly.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Obelisk Dildo
A purple and gold alien obelisk dildo. Like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey, but insertable.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Quickshot Alien (Metallic Green)
A compact, open-ended alien stroker in metallic green. For solo or couples use. Close encounters of the intimate kind.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Miksko Alien Dildo
An alien dildo with a name that sounds like a distant planet. Handmade platinum silicone from the artisans of the cosmos.
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LELO
LELO TIANI 24K Gold Couples Massager
A remote-controlled couples vibrator with a ring of 24-karat gold. Comes with actual 'breakup insurance' from LELO. Dual motors. Eight modes. The only sex toy that hedges against heartbreak.
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Uncover Creations
Uncover Creations The Void Alien Dildo
A wide-tipped alien dildo with bumps for G and P-spot stimulation. Stare into The Void. The Void stares back.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Nurse Bondage Kit
A full nurse-themed BDSM kit. The doctor will NOT see you now. But Nurse Ratchet might.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Octopod Vibrating Creature Dildo
A rechargeable vibrating alien creature dildo in yellow and green. It vibrates AND looks like a space creature. Multitasking.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Reaper Dildo
An 8-inch silicone fantasy dildo from Fleshlight's dark side. The reaper cometh. And so shall you.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Xenugenesis Alien Dildo
A bizarre alien life form from many light-years away, now available in platinum silicone. Six inches of extraterrestrial evolution.
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LELO
LELO TIANI Duo
Couples vibe with SenseMotion — the remote responds to wrist movements. Conducting an orchestra, but the orchestra is in your pants.
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Geeky Sex Toys
OctoPussy Stroker
A tentacled stroker that looks like a space creature grabbed your junk. The face-hugger you actually want.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Pantera Glow Clitoral Vibrator
A glow-in-the-dark rechargeable clitoral vibrator with remote control. The alien brought a spotlight. For your clit.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Reaper Fantasy Stroker
A death-themed fantasy stroker with intense internal texture. The grim reaper came for you. But like, in the fun way.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Xenuphora Alien Tentacle Dildo
An alien tentacle dildo at the nice price. Sixty-nine dollars for a tentacle from the stars.
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Geeky Sex Toys
R2-V2 Vibrator
A droid-shaped clitoral vibrator with 3 speeds and 30 patterns. These are the droids you were looking for.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Serpentine Dildo
A purple and pink serpentine alien dildo that twists and curves. Space snakes. On your nightstand.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Turbo Core (Blue Ice)
A transparent Fleshlight engineered to simulate oral. Three points of initial contact, tight inner canal. The see-through part is either a feature or a dare.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Xmeyk Alien Dildo
An alien dildo with an unpronounceable name and unmistakable intentions. The X is silent. The orgasm is not.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Roseus Pink Glitter Dragon Dildo
A pink glitter dragon dildo that sparkles like a unicorn sneezed on it. Fabulous, textured, and absolutely ridiculous.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Venomus Creature Dildo
A gold creature dildo that looks like it was forged on an alien planet. The venom is metaphorical. The pleasure is not.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Turbo Thrust Blue Ice
A transparent blue blowjob simulator called Turbo Thrust Blue Ice. It looks like a portal to another dimension. The dimension where you finish in 4 minutes.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Princess Peachy
Nintendo-inspired suction stimulator with licking tongue. Thank you Mario, but the orgasm is in another castle.
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Geeky Sex Toys
The Swamp Monster
9-inch slimy-green heavily ribbed tentacle dildo. Rise from the depths. Your swamp, your rules.
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LELO
LELO DOT
Pinpoint clitoral vibrator with a tiny elliptical tip that flutters. LELO miniaturized precision engineering and made it waterproof.
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Hot Octopuss
ATOM Plus
Dual-motor cock ring that vibrates for both partners simultaneously. One motor on the clit, one on the perineum. It's a team sport now.
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Lovense
Lovense Domi 2
Mini wand with Bluetooth because apparently every object in your house needs an app now. Suitable for everyone.
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Tenga
TENGA AERO Cobalt Ring
A reusable stroker with a twist valve that adjusts suction in real time. Engineered like a Japanese sports car, used like... well.
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Crave
Crave Duet Pro
Dual-tip vibrator with independent motors on each prong. Straddle the clitoris from both sides. Looks like a tuning fork. Hits the right frequency every time.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Flight Pilot Compact Stroker
A travel-sized Fleshlight called the Flight Pilot. Compact, discreet, TSA-friendly shape. Your carry-on just got an upgrade. Please do not use it at 30,000 feet.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Deep Space Pegging Dildo
A curved navy blue dildo with sparkle accents, expertly angled for prostate and G-spot exploration. Deep space has never been so accurately named.
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Kiiroo
OhMiBod Fuse (by Kiiroo)
Dual-stim interactive vibrator that syncs to your partner's device anywhere on earth. G-spot and clitoral at once. Long-distance relationships just got an upgrade.
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TENGA
TENGA Spinner 05 Beads
A spinning stroker with alternating sphere textures inside. The internal coil rotates with each thrust. Called Beads. We can all agree that name is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
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Clone-A-Willy
Clone-A-Willy Glow in the Dark Kit - Blue
Clone your willy in glow in the dark blue. It looks like a lightsaber. A very personal lightsaber.
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Dame Products
Dame Aer
Pressure-wave suction toy with 5 intensities and 5 patterns. Designed by women engineers in NYC. Beautiful, quiet, devastating.
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njoy
njoy Fun Wand
Double-ended stainless steel wand. Small ball on one end, large on the other. Temperature play ready — run it under hot or cold water. Physics class just got interesting.
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Alien Nation
Alien Nation Glo-Spot Vibrating Dildo
A glow-in-the-dark vibrating dildo in blue and pink. It finds the spot. While glowing. Alien GPS.
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Autoblow
Autoblow Prostate Pulse
Remote-controlled prostate massager from the people who brought you AI blowjobs. Waterproof, rechargeable, and controlled without reaching under your legs like a pretzel.
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Agreeable Agony
Agreeable Agony UV Reactive Bondage Rope 30ft
30 feet of UV-reactive bondage rope that glows electric blue under blacklight. Turn your bedroom into a tractor beam with shibari knots.
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Forplay
To Infinity Sexy Astronaut Costume
A 6-piece astronaut movie character costume with bra, panty, gloves, backpack, belt, and glasses. To infinity and beyond. Way beyond.
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Glas
Glas 8" Galaxy Glow Glass Dildo
An 8-inch glow-in-the-dark borosilicate glass dildo. Temperature play compatible. Handcrafted. Looks like a comet frozen in glass.
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Godemiche
Godemiche Ambit Silicone Dildo
Hand-poured artisanal silicone dildo from a small UK workshop. Custom colors available. Each one individually made. The Etsy of dildos, except these people actually know what they're doing.
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Hello Nancy
Hello Nancy Lem Clitoral Suction Vibrator
A lemon-shaped suction vibrator that replaced the Rose on TikTok. 12 air-pulse patterns. Under 50dB. When life gives you lemons, have an orgasm apparently.
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MysteryVibe
MysteryVibe Poco
Tiny bendable bullet vibrator with two motors. Bend it into a U, an L, or whatever letter your anatomy prefers. App-controlled. The world's most flexible bullet.
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Mystim
Mystim Pure Vibes
Entry-level e-stim power box for the electrically curious. Think of it as e-stim 101 before you graduate to getting zapped by the Cluster Buster.
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Rocks Off
Rocks Off Rocket Pocket Vibrator
A rocket-shaped pocket vibrator with 10 speed settings. Shaped like an actual rocket. Named like one too. Houston, we have ignition.
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Reborn Ropes
Glow-in-the-Dark Shibari Bondage Rope 30ft
30 feet of glow-in-the-dark bondage rope. Tie someone up and they become a constellation. Shibari just went intergalactic.
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Sportsheets
Sportsheets Door Jam Sex Sling
A door-mounted sex sling with padded seat and adjustable straps. Zero gravity simulation. No NASA training required. Supports 325 lbs.
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SVAKOM
SVAKOM Erica Wearable Interactive Vibrator
Dual wearable stimulator with 11 vibration modes, 5 intensity levels, and app control for long-distance play. Partner interaction mode included. Your phone does more than you think.
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Tantus
Tantus Pelt Paddle
Silicone paddle that delivers a satisfying THWACK. Dishwasher safe because hygiene matters even in chaos. Made in the USA.
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Uberrime
Uberrime Astrum Alien Phantasia Dildo
A first-time fantasy dildo for alien beginners. Your entry-level ticket to the cosmos. Training wheels for space.
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We're Not Really Strangers
We're Not Really Strangers: XXX Expansion
The viral relationship card game went full NSFW. Deep questions about sex, intimacy, and desires that'll make you learn things about your partner you never asked.
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We-Vibe
We-Vibe Tease Us Set (Double Bond)
Two vibrating cock rings in one box. One for each of you. Or both for one of you. We are not here to judge your ring stacking strategy.
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Xenocat Artifacts
Alabaster Alien Artifact
A sci-fi platinum silicone artifact from Xenocat. Body-safe alien technology, discreetly shipped in a white box.
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LELO
LELO Enigma Double Sonic Massager
A triple-stimulation sonic massager with app control. Looks like alien technology because it basically is. G-spot, A-spot, and clitoris simultaneously.
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Dame
Dame Com
Dame's most powerful wand with a curved handle. The name is... exactly what you think it is.
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Lovense
Lovense Lush 4 App-Controlled Vibrator
The latest generation of the internet's most famous wearable vibrator. Bluetooth. Unlimited patterns. Your long-distance relationship just got an engineering upgrade.
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Tenga
TENGA AIR FLOW CUP
A disposable cup stroker with air-cushion chambers. Under 11 bucks for Japanese precision engineering. The Honda Civic of masturbation.
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Crave
Crave Vesper 2
Next-gen vibrator necklace in stainless steel or 24k gold. Four vibration modes. USB rechargeable. Your coworkers will compliment your jewelry and have no idea.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Quickshot Alien (Metallic Blue)
A compact blue alien stroker, open on both ends. The sequel is always bluer. And more alien.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Fairy Dragon Dildo
A whimsical fairy dragon dildo in iridescent colors. Because regular dragons were too mainstream for your dungeon.
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Kiiroo
Kiiroo Pearl 3 Interactive G-Spot Vibrator
A G-spot vibrator that syncs with VR content and your partner's device across the globe. Touch-sensitive. The long-distance relationship just got a firmware update.
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TENGA
TENGA Spinner 06 Brick
A spinning stroker with bold block textures. Called Brick. The firmest texture in the Spinner lineup. Brick by name, not by sensation. Thank God.
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Clone-A-Willy
Clone-A-Willy Glow in the Dark Kit - Green
Clone your willy and make it glow green. Because nothing says 'alien probe' like a glow in the dark replica of yourself.
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Dame Products
Dame Massage Oil Candle - Melt Together
A plant-based candle that melts into warm massage oil. Kava Kava-infused. Scented with green tea and cedarwood. The only candle where spilling is the point.
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njoy
njoy Pure Wand
One pound of medical-grade stainless steel curved into the most legendary G-spot toy ever made. No batteries, no motors. Just physics and very deliberate engineering.
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LELO
LELO Enigma Double Sonic
Dual sonic-wave stimulation hitting two zones simultaneously. Looks like a sculpture from MoMA. Won design awards AND orgasm awards.
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Hot Octopuss
JETT
Hands-free penis vibrator with remote control and dual motors. Strap it on, lie back, and let robotics handle the rest. The laziest orgasm in history.
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Dame
Dame Fin Finger Vibrator
A tiny vibrator that fits between your fingers like a guitar pick. Textured tip. Rumbling motor. Designed by women, for hands that already know what they're doing but want a power-up.
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Lovense
Lovense Max 2
App-controlled male masturbator with vibration AND contraction. Syncs with your partner's toy across the globe. The future is wild.
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Tenga
TENGA ARTE WEAVE
A woven-texture sleeve that looks like a fancy candle holder. Put it on your coffee table. We dare you.
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Crave
Crave Vesper Mini — Vibrator Necklace
A smaller, more delicate vibrator necklace. Stainless steel. Discreet enough for a board meeting. Powerful enough for what comes after. The world's most dangerous accessory.
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Fleshlight
Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage
An open-ended compact Fleshlight for couples or solo use. Open on both ends so you can see the action. Called Vantage because apparently 'Peep Show' was taken.
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Geeky Sex Toys
Starlight Galaxy Dildo
A swirling galaxy-patterned silicone dildo that looks like the cosmos. One small step for man, one giant leap for your nightstand.
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Kiiroo
Kiiroo PowerShot
Pocket-sized AI stroker with FeelMe content syncing. Squeeze for variable tightness. AI subscription included. Fits in your pocket, powered by algorithms.
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TENGA
TENGA Spinner 04 Pixel
A reusable stroker with an internal coil that SPINS with every stroke. This one has a 'pixel' texture of tiny raised dots. Made in Japan. Sounds like a graphics card, performs like a pro.
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LELO
LELO HUGO 2
Dual-motor app-controlled prostate massager. 10 pleasure modes. Comes in a satin pouch like jewelry. 20% more pleasure than V1 — they measured.
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Hot Octopuss
KURVE
G-spot vibrator with a squishy gel tip that bends to your anatomy. Dual motors let you mix treble and bass vibrations. It's basically an audio equalizer for your vagina.
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Dame
Dame Pillo
A sex pillow. Just a really well-designed, washable sex pillow. Not everything needs Bluetooth. Sometimes you need better angles.
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Lovense
Lovense Nora
Bluetooth rabbit that syncs with Max 2 so couples feel each other across continents. Long-distance relationships just got an engineering upgrade.
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Tenga
TENGA Bobble Crazy Cubes
A squishy, cube-textured stroker that looks like a desk toy from the future. Squeeze it in meetings. Nobody will suspect a thing.
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Crave
Crave Vesper
A vibrator disguised as a necklace. Wear it to dinner. Nobody will know. Your little secret, literally.
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LELO
LELO LILY 3
Palm-sized vibrator at 60 dB. So discreet you could use it during a conference call. We are not recommending that. Legally.
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Hot Octopuss
PleX with Flex
Vibrating butt plug with a flexible neck and wireless remote. The neck bends to fit your anatomy because one size does not, in fact, fit all butts.
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Lovense
Lovense Ferri
Magnetic panty vibe controlled from anywhere on Earth. Dinner parties will never be the same.
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Tenga
TENGA EGG 6-Pack Variety Set
Six disposable egg-shaped strokers, each with a different internal texture. It's like a Kinder Surprise but your mom definitely can't open it.
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LELO
LELO Smart Wand 2
Wand massager with 4-hour battery and extra-soft silicone that warms to touch. It's technically a 'body massager' if anyone asks.
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Hot Octopuss
PULSE Queen
Clitoral wand with PulsePlate oscillation technology. Broad head for external stimulation. Quiet enough for roommate situations. Allegedly.
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LELO
LELO SONA 2 Cruise
Sonic pulses stimulate parts of the clitoris you didn't know existed. Cruise Control maintains power when pressed harder, unlike your ex.
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LELO
LELO SORAYA Wave
Luxury rabbit with WaveMotion that mimics a come-hither motion. 8 settings, waterproof, costs more than your groceries. Priorities.
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LELO
LELO TOR 3
App-controlled vibrating pleasure ring. Fully flexible to fit all sizes because LELO is body-positive and good at engineering.
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Forplay
Give Me Space Sexy Astronaut Costume
A 4-piece sexy astronaut costume with metallic bodysuit and space patches. Houston, we have a situation.
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Leg Avenue
Galaxy Girl Astronaut Costume
A 3-piece sexy astronaut costume with metallic bodysuit, belt with leg garter, and detachable clear hood. Houston, the eagle has landed. And she looks incredible.
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LELO
LELO Tiani 3 Couples Vibrator
A motion-sensitive remote-controlled couples vibrator worn during intercourse. Dual arms for G-spot and clitoral. The docking procedure that NASA wishes they invented.
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Liberator
Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo Position Aid
A 2-piece foam position aid set. Wedge + Ramp = mission-critical angle optimization. Made in USA. Your launch pad for orbital maneuvers.
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nJoy
nJoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel G-Spot/Prostate
A double-ended stainless steel wand for G-spot and prostate. Medical-grade steel, spacecraft-grade engineering. The most futuristic thing in your nightstand.
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TENGA
TENGA SVR+ Smart Vibe Ring
A rechargeable vibrating cock ring with 5 vibration strengths and 3 rhythm modes. 1.5x more powerful than the original. Made in Japan. Compact enough to fit in your pocket but let's not do that.
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